Great Moments in Battlestar Galactica, Pt. 1


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So! Battlestar Galactica: what should we talk about? Hmmm… How about the new Gaeta-based webisodes that kicked off last Friday? (Blood! Drugs! Interdepartmental kissing! Lost in space!) Or the cryptically irritating teasers that Sci Fi is doling out, web-wise, and those new Angry Adama promos? Or the baffling Starbuck’s Boobs poster that just popped onto the radar? Or how about the final half of the final season starting in less than six weeks, and the fact that we’ve been waiting since JUNE 14 TO GET THE FRAK ON WITH IT?

Actually we are going to talk about my favorite character, who is of course Lee “Formerly Apollo” Adama, that wearer of cheekbones, expertly mussed hair, and pinstripe suit. Oops! Just kidding: I hate Lee. What a whiny, self-righteous, goody-two-shoes blowhard. He can’t out himself as the last Cylon soon enough for me, because maybe then he will finally get what’s coming to him, which is a Microsoft Zune. Either that or Starbuck and Dualla kicking him around in the towel area, just for being such a wiener. (And I just made a whole bunch of instant best friends with that angry little fake spoiler/scary feminist rant, didn’t I? But this is the way of things. Also, I think it’s best to lay my oddball likes, dislikes, and stylistic writing tics out here in the beginning, because ultimately it will save us all a lot of time.)

And what we’re really doing today is launching a little series called “Great Moments in BSG,” starting with my actual favorite character, Laura Roslin. (She of the glasses, neverending death watch, and brand-new old boyfriend.) Mary McDonnell, after all, is the reason I tuned in to begin with, because who would make a more level-headed president for the 49,000-something human survivors of a nuclear apocalypse than Donnie Darko’s eminently sane and sympathetic mother? And who else could get me to turn on the Sci Fi channel? (Note to Sci Fi: nobody.) Naturally I never suspected that she would turn out to be such a morally wifty, power-hoarding nutbar, but then head-snapping surprises and shape-shifting character curveballs are part of what BSG does best, and one of the reasons I’ll follow this show gladly, wherever it leads.

I had a tough time narrowing this one down, though, because Laura Roslin is such a conundrum. I mean, do we celebrate the Good Laura or the Borderline Evil Laura? Or both? I love both. I love how she tries to save mankind by remaking the rules as she sees fit and without answering to anybody, which is exactly what we loathe about Some World Leaders, but that’s also why BSG is so brilliant: just when you think you’ve picked a side, they show you another side and make it make just as much sense. And how she went from the soft-spoken Secretary of Education, tentatively accepting her new presidential authority in the miniseries, to a brutally detached pseudo-dictator who was willing to not only let Baltar die but to help him along in “The Hub,” was nothing short of remarkable. Plus, that moment when she finally, finally stepped back inside of herself and admitted to Adama that she loves him? Oh, my little shipper heart was officially breaking with joy and relief, even knowing the future looks grim for them both. Or maybe because of it. There can be no happy without the sad.

Yet for all that, for my favorite Madame President moment I have to go with something simpler and smaller, and maybe even sadder:

CROSSROADS, PT I.
It comes down to this—five small words on the witness stand. Five syllables. A plea to an old friend, the saddest whisper: “Please don’t do this. Please.” (Which, according to Ronald D. Moore, was a Mary McDonnell ad lib.) And then, so quietly, in that sweet, private Laura Roslin schoolteacher voice, the Laura Roslin we met so many lifetimes ago, when she first felt the weight of the world fall onto her shoulders, who could never have imagined doing all of the things that she’s done: “Captain Apollo—you remember that? I always thought it had such a nice ring to it. I am so, so sorry for you now.” Mourning them both, right before she turns back into the cold-blooded pragmatist she never thought she’d have to be. But it was nice to be reminded that the schoolteacher was still living in there, somewhere, waiting to see daylight again, even if she did it all with one sharp, calculating eye on her own rapidly fleeting agenda.

Whew! Now that we got that out of the way, you can tell me some of your favorites: scenes, characters, episodes, lines, hairstyles, battle scars, whatever. And I’ll be nicer to Lee the next time around. Promise.